The 5 Emotional Stages of Home Buying

You’ve been waiting for years to finally get your own place. Not just an apartment but really your OWN PLACE. A place where you can paint the walls and you don’t hear your upstairs neighbor’s dog barking. You can almost feel the relief of walking in your own door without having to juggle bags of groceries as your swipe your fob three separate times to get into your building. Yeah. It’ll be good. The thing about any big purchase though? It’s never exactly what you think it’s going to be. In my years with home buyers I’ve played the role of therapist a time or two (or ten) because no matter how much you prepare yourself there are unknowns that come your way. Each home is different, each seller is different, and each purchase is a little different. We’re all human and sometimes our emotions get the better of us. That’s okay though, that’s what your agent is here for. Here are the five likely Emotions of Home Buying you’ll go through, maybe more than once.

Excitement

Excitement will hit you as you start looking for homes. The first time you get an email with homes that match your search you’ll be giddy! The first time you go out with your Realtor to look at homes you’ll barely be able to sit still in the car. And the first time you make an offer on a home and it gets accepted you’ll be overjoyed.

Anxiety/Doubt

This is the second most common emotion buyers tend to feel. The feelings of anxiety and doubt start to creep in around your 10th home showing or your third week of getting zero emails with a home that matches your search criteria. You start to wonder if a home will ever come up that’s right or if you’re doomed to rent until the end of eternity. Don’t worry, usually right as that feeling sets in your inbox dings with a “New Match” email! You’ll likely circle back to anxiety and doubt as you wait to hear about any offer you submit on a home. Sometimes it turns into disappointment but at some point, we’ll hit excitement again.

Anger

Not every buyer will experience anger but if you do it is typically short lived. Anger usually pops up in one of two scenarios. 1. A seller doesn’t select your offer. 2. A seller won’t agree to your inspection terms. This one is usually sistered with anxiety and doubt. You wonder if the seller will make any repairs at all or you become irritated if they won’t comply to everything on the list. This is typically where your agent becomes very important, stepping in and taking care of the negotiations, allowing you room to feel however you feel while still working toward a resolution.

Defiance

This feeling creeps up during negotiations. Whether it’s the first negotiation of the initial contract or the negotiation over the inspection repairs sometimes you’ll want to dig in your heels and refuse to negotiate any further. Your agent is pretty good at helping you work through these feelings and getting you back on track to being excited and wanting to work with the seller.

Relief

You’ll feel this one a few times too - once you find a home to offer on, once your contract is accepted, once negotiations are complete, and once you hold the keys in your hand to your new home. Before you start feeling like you’re the only one who is running the gamut of emotions while buying a home let me assure you you are not. It is normal to feel these emotions, sometimes all within a matter of minutes. These feelings are human. You’re making a HUGE purchase. Being allowed to have these feelings are where your agent becomes invaluable to you. A good agent is able to shoulder your emotions, comforting or rejoicing with you, while simultaneously removing those emotions from the negotiations to get you to the best place for purchasing a home. Sometimes they have to play a little devil’s advocate, but in the end they are able to work without emotions so that you can live in the magical realm of excitement and continue moving toward becoming a #HappyHomeowner.

Happy Hunting,

Jess